Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let

it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were

quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forgot.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the

chicken did NOT cross the road.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The

chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be

free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares

why?The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone

ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed

the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will

not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook as well.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally

selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath

the chicken makes no diference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,

"Thou shall cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road and there

was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more

chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with

the chicken.